GI JOE CON 2018 LEGENDS FILE CARDS DRIVER

Slice has had six different versions of his figure made, and only one is not totally embarrassing.

GI JOE CON 2018 LEGENDS FILE CARDS DRIVER

How awesome would it be to see this massive hunk of machine coming down on you and the driver is a fuckin’ ninja? It’s like going into battle and seeing your opponent is Dracula wielding the Sword of Omens while riding a shark with The Undertaker’s face. Joe’s resident ninjas, who drives the battering ram/gun the Pile Driver. What that proves is beyond me, since you can slice a tomato with almost anything. Yep, they named him after the knife that can slice a can, then slice a tomato. Yeah, it’s kind of silly, but I like the name. And we’ll do it in front of your wedding picture, which she will then tilt downwards so the picture of you two isn’t visible.” This guy oozes the “don’t fuck with me” vibe, from his tiger paw print gi to his big belt, which is essentially saying, “My dong is monstrous, and if you fuck with me or the rest of the Joes, I will beat you to death with it, then take my black dong power home to your woman, where she will be satisfied in ways you can’t even imagine, even if you had read a book about nasty sex.

Joe world, possibly because he has freakishly long thighs. Sadly, he’s only had one figure and isn’t much of a name in the G.I. His goal was to bring down the whole clan, not for any personal reason other than Cobra Commander asking him if he would. How badass is this guy? He once infiltrated the elite Arashikage ninja clan just so he could fuck with it! It’s like going to college just to party. Sure, turquoise is a lousy color, but they probably do some awesome work against colorblind foes. They’re used sparingly, not like cannon fodder, and they’re studying new martial arts moves all the time to enhance their skills. Well, if you’re going to start a naming system for your troops that’s basically Viper, Ninja Viper is a must-have. Ninja skills are best used for subterfuge and assassination, not charging up at guys with laser guns. Why? Because the Black Dragons are all about espionage, just like the real ninjas in Japan and the Red Ninjas are just foot soldiers in pajamas. If I felt like making this an 11 item list, the Red Ninjas would be 11th, but far after the Black Dragons. In the Joe universe, there are Black Dragon Ninjas and Red Ninja Vipers.

Gi joe con 2018 legends file cards